…Lost’s Top 10 Candidates for ASP CEO

The ASP needs a new boss. Here’s our top 10 list of people we think could be the new CEO of the Association of Surfing Professionals (in no particular order).

Shea Lopez – He’s got the street cred and a head on him to boot. Shea thrives on a good surfing debate and if you’re head of the ASP you better be ready for a steady stream of them. He might actually enjoy it. Downside would be him surfing for 10 hours a day. Photo: TUPAT

Jamie O’brien – He sure has a lot of good ideas and opinions but any self proclaimed “retard” can sit on twitter all day and make surf videos (trust us, we know). Some tour surfers might get bummed if the CEO is getting bigger deeper longer barrels and doing bigger and more technical airs than them.

Bobby Martinez – It takes someone who has been on tour at the highest level, busted his butt on the WQS to get there, and studied the pitfalls of the other tours like tennis – to be able to make the best decisions. He would in all seriousness make at least a good surfers’ rep. Cut out the cussing and his words become so much more powerful. If they hadn’t been able to throw him out for cussing for the easy out – they would have had to address his points.

Chucky “Chuckilupo” Rigano – Inventor of the slow motion internet surf video replay. In case of the instant replay person going down, Chucky could fill in without a problem. Being the number one salesman down at Catalyst must mean he has people skills. Downside is his car is always breaking down so he’ll be late for work.

Kieren Perrow – ‘cuz Biolos says he’s smart.   He’s also most likely gonna fall off tour – unless he wins Pipe or one of the Triple Crown events this year – which he could.  Being the Surfer’s Rep for the ASP the last few years can’t hurt.

Michael Ho – Complaints from surfers would go away. He’d bring back the old buoy priority system and the World Title would be determined at Pipe or Sunset every time. If the surfers think the waves are too gnarly nothing is more humbling than watching a 55 year old man charge harder than you. Downside is the guy surfs too much.

Vince – Switchfoot shuvit f*cking airs will score huge.

Kelly Slater – What the f#$K else is he gonna do when he retires? Photo: CASAFREE.COM

Brodie Carr – While some think that the one heat premature announcement of Kelly as champ was an embarrassment to surfing – I guess it did set us back 30 years to Spicoli days – the ASP only wishes they could have the success that Vans had once they decided to embrace the Jeff Spicoli connection 10 years ago rather than be ashamed of it… Kelly was gonna win anyway. This is nothing compared to MLB robbing that guy of the perfect game last year, the NBA lockout, fines for making hits in football, or steroids. Until the sports associations had the Elias Sports bureau of nerds – they were all guilty of throwing out wrong stats on a fairly regular basis. The NFL had been announcing that teams had clinched their division when they hadn’t – due to all those intricate tiebreaker rules – after all that champagne was poured! Boo hoo. Brody’s leadership and focus on the webcasts has put the ASP in a stronger position than any other action sports circuit. Hands down. And it wasn’t by accident. I bet even the dude driving around with the anti-contest signs watches the things. I think the only thing that may cause long term damage was the Bobby incident. Lock Brody Bobby in a room until they come out with a game plan for 2012 – and a Slater Bobby rematch. “If you ain’t first, you’re last.” People deserve second chances – otherwise we would have no surf or skate team or employees here at …lost. (this one is mike’s personal opinion – and counter to some of the other people in our company). Photo: BUSINESS.TRANSWORLD.NET

Sean Volland – He thinks he knows competitive surfing better than anyone (and just might). Is no stranger to controversy. He’d work for a small salary as long as he got the company ride and a frequent flyer gold card. Could possibly secure Marlboro as a corporate sponsor and since we are hearing people whisper Rabbit’s name as a candidate, send Sean to Kirra, he’ll smoke cigs backside in the tube while cutting Rabbit off… he’s serious. Photo: SAVANNAH.BRADLEY.COM

That’s 10 right?